I'm a-scared!
So, I'm supposed to be meeting up with someone today at the park. Someone I met in the supermarket, who lives near me and has boy/girl twins. She seems nice. I hope it's fun.
I'm worried about meeting her, though! We spoke for over an hour on the phone a couple of days ago. Like I said, she seems SUPER nice, but mentioned that she doesn't hang out with the mamas in her twin club very much because she has nothing in common with them and feels like she doesn't fit in. When I asked her why, she said distastefully, "Well, they like to meet up at MCDONALD'S..." Ack! I told her I've gone to the Burger King playland with the playgroup a couple of times and it was lots of fun because the kids were so CONTAINED, I didn't have to chase them too much - and that she could probably even bring in her own food and they wouldn't even notice. She seemed intrigued. And then she said she went to the zoo with a bunch of mamas once, and someone's little girl got a fever and right away she had to break out the bubblegum flavored baby Tylenol. She said she doesn't believe in using Tylenol for fevers. Again, I felt weird - I totally would have been THAT mom at the zoo! I immediately dose up my kids when they have a fever or aren't feeling well - after all, *I* take Advil when I have a headache - why would I let my kids suffer?
Anyway - she's just different from me - she's more into attachment parenting, they don't have set bedtimes, she nursed her kids until they were three, she obviously doesn't feed them food from McDonald's...and that's totally fine. I don't care if you do the family bed thing or if you use cloth diapers or if you think Wal-Mart is bad because they run small town stores out of business. I don't CARE. As long as you're passionate about doing what's best for your family, I think it's cool, baby. Whatever's clever, y'know? But I don't want her dissing ME for doing what I think is best. Like my friend Kim said, it may be just what she needs, to see my big, healthy, bottle-fed, disposable diaper wearing, Tylenol-taking twins (all four of them!) thriving. I don't think we have nothing in common just because we have different approaches - we're still both raising twins, we live in the same neighborhood, hell - our men even have the same type of jobs! I hope she's less judgemental than she seemed on the phone, because it would be awesome to have a twinmama friend in the neighborhood.
Wish us luck.
I'm worried about meeting her, though! We spoke for over an hour on the phone a couple of days ago. Like I said, she seems SUPER nice, but mentioned that she doesn't hang out with the mamas in her twin club very much because she has nothing in common with them and feels like she doesn't fit in. When I asked her why, she said distastefully, "Well, they like to meet up at MCDONALD'S..." Ack! I told her I've gone to the Burger King playland with the playgroup a couple of times and it was lots of fun because the kids were so CONTAINED, I didn't have to chase them too much - and that she could probably even bring in her own food and they wouldn't even notice. She seemed intrigued. And then she said she went to the zoo with a bunch of mamas once, and someone's little girl got a fever and right away she had to break out the bubblegum flavored baby Tylenol. She said she doesn't believe in using Tylenol for fevers. Again, I felt weird - I totally would have been THAT mom at the zoo! I immediately dose up my kids when they have a fever or aren't feeling well - after all, *I* take Advil when I have a headache - why would I let my kids suffer?
Anyway - she's just different from me - she's more into attachment parenting, they don't have set bedtimes, she nursed her kids until they were three, she obviously doesn't feed them food from McDonald's...and that's totally fine. I don't care if you do the family bed thing or if you use cloth diapers or if you think Wal-Mart is bad because they run small town stores out of business. I don't CARE. As long as you're passionate about doing what's best for your family, I think it's cool, baby. Whatever's clever, y'know? But I don't want her dissing ME for doing what I think is best. Like my friend Kim said, it may be just what she needs, to see my big, healthy, bottle-fed, disposable diaper wearing, Tylenol-taking twins (all four of them!) thriving. I don't think we have nothing in common just because we have different approaches - we're still both raising twins, we live in the same neighborhood, hell - our men even have the same type of jobs! I hope she's less judgemental than she seemed on the phone, because it would be awesome to have a twinmama friend in the neighborhood.
Wish us luck.
posted by Unknown at 8:26 AM
10 Comments:
Good Luck Laura :)
Weee boy. That's a toughy. She could totally turn out to be someone like me (who does/did a lot of what you said on that list but also feeds her kids way too much junk food) or she could be an AP Nazi. It's so hit or miss, Laura. Good luck though! I commend you for being brave enough to do this blind friendship-date thang!
Btw, I give tylenol to the kids for headaches, teething, etc. But, especially with Andy, I hold off on fever reducers so the high body temp can work to fight off the infection faster. I do know there's some conflicting information on whether or not that's actually true though.
It's hard when you're not into a certain type of parenting that everyone else around you is.
She probably hopes to find more like minded mamas, but you never know, she might just set those differences aside because you're wonderful. :)
I don't have any like minded mom friends. She probably won't judge you, if she feels she won't be judged either.
GOOD LUCK!
Good luck I hope she is cool and not a nut. Sunds like she is very judgemental but first impressions are hard. She might have been nervous on the phone.
It's so sad that people judge others. Why not live and let live for god sakes? You can like someone, but not AGREE with them...I don't get people! Good luck Laura, you seem like SUCH a sweet person, I wish *I* lived closer! :)
I hope it turns out okay for you. Don't let her little judgements bring you down, you do whatever you feel is best and to hell with what someone else says!
I live for McDonalds', by the way! I went there on my wedding day, heh.
I often feel I don't belong, but I have triplets, and I have a son who is Diabetic, and I also like alternative music and dress differently.
Ronnie, www.geocities.com/scizzorhappyone
Good luck. Let us know how it goes.
So Laura, how did it go??
I want to know how it went. I wish we were closer. I think we would get along famously.;)
I have a friend who thinks that everything she does with her kids is the absolute right way to do it. I don't do much of what she does with my kid. However, we get along alright. I have to be careful around her, and I try not to get into those conversations, b/c it can get awkward at times. Overall, though, our kids love each other, and it's nice to be able to talk to another grown human being sometimes! I put up with her little comments sometimes, and just pretend I agree!
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