Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: one year ago today - fittingly, on Friday the 13th - I found out that the little baby we were expecting was bringing a friend along.

My post from one year ago, after heading to the hospital with what I thought was a gallbladder attack:

I'm okay. I guess.

I went to the doctor, who poked and prodded and listened and then sent me to the ER. She thought my symptoms sounded like a gallbladder problem, and was worried about a possible blood clot because of the pain I was having in my shoulder and chest. Great way to spend a Friday night! We got home about 1 a.m. Thankfully, after we sat there with the babies for close to 2 hours, P left and his mom met him at our house so she could put the babies to bed and he could come back to the hospital to babysit me.

They didn't find any blood clot. They didn't find evidence of gallstones either, so I either don't have them or they are really tiny and didn't show up on the ultrasound. I got to see pretty much my entire body on ultrasound last night. Both my legs, from my groin to my ankle, my lungs, my liver, pancreas, spleen, stomach...and my uterus. The doctor decided as long as I was having everything looked at, they might as well take a look and make sure the baby was okay.

I was stunned by what they found. Unfortunately, P wasn't with me - he was on his way back to the hospital - so I heard the news by myself. The technician was taking an awfully long time to make sure the baby looked okay, and I could tell by her expression that something was up. She said she wasn't supposed to tell me anything, that the doctors are only supposed to tell me what the results were, but I insisted. The baby is fine. Both babies are fine. Yes, we're having twins again.

Fucking shocked doesn't begin to describe how I felt. On the upside, I completely forgot about the pain I was in - I couldn't feel a damned thing. I think I was totally numb. I haven't even wrapped my head around what it's going to be like to have four children under 18 months of age. I can't even fathom having two newborns again, along with two toddlers. I'm going to be honest here: while I'm beginning to get used to the idea, I was terribly disappointed and angry when I first found out. I felt like the rug was completely pulled out from underneath me. It's one thing to find out at 6 weeks, it's another to find out at 4 months. We only have a few months to prepare, and it's going to mean a MAJOR reshuffling of bedrooms. Hell, the brand new van in my driveway isn't even going to hold all of us now.

I know after I get over the shock of it all and get past my "selfish" dream of being able to have a normal pregnancy and birth and be able to breastfeed (please don't leave me comments about how women breastfeed their twins all the time; I honestly don't want to hear it. I know exactly what I am capable of physically, and breastfeeding twins is not on the list. It wasn't on the list when I only had TWO babies to care for, let alone four.) and cherish having just one tiny baby - while it's been fantastic having twins, there is a lot they (and I) have missed out on that I got to have with K because there was only one of her. I was really looking forward to going through all that again with just ONE baby. I think once I get past that and realize how special TWO FRIGGIN SETS OF TWINS is, I'll be okay. It may take me a little while, though.

So, that's the big update. Surprised? (Not as surprised as me, I'll bet!!)

And thus began our journey into becoming parents of multiple multiples! I remember vividly how shocked and downright ANGRY I was at the news! Now, honestly, I can't even imagine life without one of the girls! They were just supposed to be here together I guess, and now here they are, big and healthy and happy. Just part of the family!