You know, as I've gone through life, I've had moments here and there where I've thought I was pretty damned clever. Y'know, like, maybe smarter than the average Jane on the street. I'm beginning to think I've been fooling myself, though.

I'm having my very first non-pill regulated period in, like, forever. Since before I met my husband. I got my tubes tied, remember? But I had to stay on the pill for a few months to make sure it all worked right, right? Okay, but I stopped taking the pill, and so now my bleeding is REAL BLEEDING, the kind from a REAL cycle, not the fake kind that comes from stopping taking hormones for seven days out of every month. So, the day I started, I marked the calendar like a good girl, so I'll know when to expect it next month. I carefully counted out 28 days, just like I did for YEARS from age 12 on up to adulthood, and then realized...all this time, I could have just counted ahead four weeks.

Can you believe that shit? I'm 32 years old and it JUST NOW OCCURRED TO ME that getting your period every 28 days equals EVERY FOUR WEEKS.

I wondered why my Mensa membership card had a Fisher Price logo.