A Letter to the Spawn.
Dear Children:
Are you just not feeling well? Poor honeys. I wish you could tell me what's wrong so I could try to make it better. Because y'know what? The constant whining and toy snatching is getting a little old. Last night was a red letter day on the calendar, for sure. It was, hands down, the worst night I've ever spent with you children. It's a good thing you're all so cute.
I'm praying that today is a better day for all of us, because mama's patience is wearing thin, little ones! I foresee a lot of grief in our futures if you don't get back to your sweet little inquisitive selves soon!
And as long as we're discussing it, WHAT is the big deal about getting your noses wiped? Why must you fight me like I'm trying to smother you with a chloroform-soaked rag?? I just want to get the boogies off your face before they dribble into your mouth. Could you please, pretty please, with chocolate covered cherries, calm the fuck down?
And do mommy a favor and take a good nap today, okay?
Love you, you little monsters!
- Mommy
Are you just not feeling well? Poor honeys. I wish you could tell me what's wrong so I could try to make it better. Because y'know what? The constant whining and toy snatching is getting a little old. Last night was a red letter day on the calendar, for sure. It was, hands down, the worst night I've ever spent with you children. It's a good thing you're all so cute.
I'm praying that today is a better day for all of us, because mama's patience is wearing thin, little ones! I foresee a lot of grief in our futures if you don't get back to your sweet little inquisitive selves soon!
And as long as we're discussing it, WHAT is the big deal about getting your noses wiped? Why must you fight me like I'm trying to smother you with a chloroform-soaked rag?? I just want to get the boogies off your face before they dribble into your mouth. Could you please, pretty please, with chocolate covered cherries, calm the fuck down?
And do mommy a favor and take a good nap today, okay?
Love you, you little monsters!
- Mommy
posted by Unknown at 11:23 AM
7 Comments:
I have been there. What the HELL is with the nose wiping craziness? I do not get it either.
I'm so saying! WHAT is with the nose wiping thing? Dillon acts the same way ... like I'm trying to smother him to death. I just don't get it! But! I've started breaking him down. Now I can say, "blooow" "bloooooow" and slowly move in with a soft cloth diaper. He's starting to get the hang of it but if I dare use actual kleenex or GOD FORBID I use sandpaper-like paper towel he has a nervous breakdown!
I hope they feel better soon.
Haha, my daughter is the opposite - is she has snot running down her nose, she runs over to me pointing at it and going "ick, ick!" til i wipe if off of her!! And if I'm not fast enough, she will go get the baby wipes, take some out, and wipe it herself!
You could get them to do what mine does...if he gets a booger, he gets it out of his nose and brings it to me, as if it's some kind of gift! Sometimes, we'll be driving down the road, and he'll have a fit b/c he has a booger to give me, and I can't turn around to take his generous offering!
I hope that they calmed down for you! I hate days like that, especially when they keep coming without a break.
Why must you fight me like I'm trying to smother you with a chloroform-soaked rag??
BA HA HA HA that just cracked me to pieces!!!
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