Am I TOO overprotective?
So, I was just wanting some opinions from those of you with older children.
Say you have two little girls in your care, both of whom are just a smidge under ten years old, who want to go to the mall.
Is it okay for them to wander around the mall, out of your sight of vision, but with a walkie talkie in hand so you can check in with them every few minutes?
What about walking around the neighborhood on a warm evening (the sun is still up) with your cell phone in case they need to call you right away?
I'm just wondering how others feel about these things. I personally feel like these girls are not old enough to be doing things like this. I'm not at all comfortable with it. I think it would take just SECONDS for someone to yank them into a restroom - or even behind a clothing rack - and fondle them. Or worse, abduct them.
Am I being too overprotective?
Say you have two little girls in your care, both of whom are just a smidge under ten years old, who want to go to the mall.
Is it okay for them to wander around the mall, out of your sight of vision, but with a walkie talkie in hand so you can check in with them every few minutes?
What about walking around the neighborhood on a warm evening (the sun is still up) with your cell phone in case they need to call you right away?
I'm just wondering how others feel about these things. I personally feel like these girls are not old enough to be doing things like this. I'm not at all comfortable with it. I think it would take just SECONDS for someone to yank them into a restroom - or even behind a clothing rack - and fondle them. Or worse, abduct them.
Am I being too overprotective?
posted by Unknown at 7:16 PM
20 Comments:
Truthfully I see it all the time at the mall, but I really really don't know what and when I am going to be able to handle it personally. It only takes a second for the unthinkable to happen but at some point they have to be released. I just don't know what age to do it at now these days. I know that (and this is off topic kind of) on base to walk around the BX unattended (even though they don't hold you accountable for it) you have to be 12 years old otherwise you need to be accompanied by an adult. I just really don't know for sure...
No, they are way too young. You are right in your feelings. People out there are sick. It is not that you cant trust them it is you cant trust other people. I dont think I was allowed around the mall or neigborhood till I was atleast 13/ and that was 11 years ago things have changed drastically since then.
I was never allowed to at the mall, but I always went out with a friend in the evenings for walks and bike rides, without a cell phone or anything with. From the age of about 8 on. But I also lived in a town of about 900 people, which is a lot different.
I personally would allow my daughter too if she were older, but we are also on a military base, which is pretty secure.
Personally, I think you're right for being protective of your child (and other children in your care.) While I hate thinking the world is full of threats, it IS. Turning a blind eye to what could happen won't prevent it.
My son is 11 and I keep him within range of vision anytime we go out anywhere. Thankfully, he hasn't fought me on the issue, but even if he did, I'd stand firm by it because I honeslty don't feel he could handle himself if a "situation" did arise. It's not that he's "immature" for his age... it's that he is ELEVEN... a little boy. I want to allow him every opportunity to be a little boy and not have to deal with the darker side of society just yet.
As for walking around the block alone... hm... that's a tough one. In a group of six, sure. With just two? I would personally say no. Not in a city; not where there are streets where a car can just drive up, grab the kids, then speed off again. Not where you don't know/see/talk to every neighbor every day.
You know I don't have kids, but I'm putting my two cents worth in anyway. Ten-year-old girls are too young to be by themselves. There are too many creeps and weirdos out anymore no matter where you go. Sometimes I don't feel safe being out. Even with a cell or walkie-talkie, something horrible could happen before you could get there. I agree with Bev, err on the side of caution. They make think it's a pain, but at least it shows the adults around them care about them.
I don't think I went to the mall without my parents until I was sixteen (when I got my car) and even then we travelled in packs.
Too young! In fact, I think the older a girl gets, the MORE danger she is in when left alone in situations such as the mall. Hell, I don't even go to the mall alone anymore because the risk of something happening to me and/or the kids is so great.
As far as walking around the neighborhood? I think it depends on the neighborhood. A walk around my block is much different than a walk around someone else's block that might have more traffic or more secluded places, or just be bigger in general.
But, no. I wouldn't allow it for my boys and I especially wouldn't allow it for girls. Then again, Andy is almost 7 and I still don't let him go outside unattended or let him ride his bike more than 2 driveways down in either direction.
My daughter is 10 too, and I don't allow her to be out of my sight in the mall or the neighborhood either. I agree with you, all it takes is a second, and especially in a crowded mall, the situation is worse. My daughter walks 1/2 a block to my mom's classroom after school sometimes, and for that she has a cellphone, and talks to my mom the entire way over there. The only place I let my girls go out of my sight is in my backyard, which is fenced (high) and has a padlocked gate. There's just too many scary things that could happen, so like Bev said - err on the side of caution!
Oops that last comment was me - I accidentally hit publish too soon - damn notebook trackpad and my dead mouse batteries!
I'd Also have to say no, that they are still way too young. My daughter is only 5 and when she gets too far down the driveway behind the car and I can't see her I get worrried. So there is no way I could allow her and a friend to walk around the mall, or block at 10 and feel good about it. It really only does take a second, and with all the fricken weirdo's out today ANYTHING could happen.
No. You're not too overprotective. Breanna (10) is not allowed to walk around by herself like that.
I see ALOT of girls that are Breanna's and K's age walking around the neighborhood dressed like little hoochie-mamas and it freaks me out!
Janelle*
I have a very very stong opinion on this one! YOU are not overprotective! You are cautious! I am exactly the same way. The girls may hate it... but they dont want to have to learn the hard way from it! Taylor went to a friend from schools house in our neighborhood against my better judgement of not knowing the parents. I just happened to go for a walk at 8pm and saw her and the girl at that hour getting dark, in the streets running wild - I about lost it! To top it off, they were meeting a boy at the playgound at the school! HELL NO! No. 1 - Ten year olds girls have one of the highest rates of being abducted. Even if that isn't a fear in itself...I think that peer pressure alone to do stupid things is not realized by them yet. The boy is classmate of the other girl and supposidly they play together all the time. Not a good enough story for me! I dont think 9-10 yr olds should be playing with boys alone! When I snatched her up and drug her to the girls house, the parents acted as if I was out of my mind. Taylor told me that she told the other parents and friend that I wouldnt even let her in the front yard alone and they told her NOT TO TELL ME and that it would be fine since they were only a few blocks away from home! UUGGGHHHH! I was the big bad bitch that day and now the parents won't even look my way when I take Tay to school! So, I am a mean Mom and wont let her even talk to the girl on the phone now! Tay and I had a nice long talk about friends houses, boys and abductions. I think that rules like not being alone in public - should cross over when your kids are with others.
No, you're not being overprotective, you're being a good mom. 10 is way too young for the mall, at least to be walking around without an adult. I would let them take a walk on my street, with the cell phone, but they would have to stay where I could see them from the sidewalk (and where they could still see the house) But, I live in a small town, too.. even though there are still things that make me nervous when my 15 y/o daughter is out & about.
Only you can judge this one for your own kid, I think. While ten seems too young to me, it's your uneasiness with it that tells me they're not ready to be off on their own at the mall, even with a walkie-talkie.
When our oldest wanted to go to the mall with friends when she was 11 or so, I told her she wasn't old enough, so of course she wanted me to give her an age at which she'd be allowed to do that. I didn't, though, because I had no idea. I told her she could go when I felt she was old enough, and I didn't know when that would be. I think she was about 13 when we finally felt okay about it. She's almost 19 now, and now that I think about it, she has rarely left the mall since then ;-)
Nope, you're not alone. My son turned 10 today, and now he wants to walk to school. Nuh-uh! Maybe when he's 12 and his brother is 10, I MIGHT let them! But no way for now, they are too young/immature to make snap decisions that might save their life!
I think some of this depends on the maturity of the child. Every kid is different. Personally speaking with my kids...
They are not allowed to walk the mall alone. I do let the oldest boy (16) go to movies with a group of friends or to a school football game. The younger two (girl 13, boy 11) are not allowed to the school park alone which is down the street. They may go together or with their older brother, but they all are required to take walkie talkies with them. They are not allowed to wander the neighborhood, ever. We live in a residential area, but it is within a city.
Oprah says listen to your inner voice...doubt means no. If you're questioning this or are uncomfortable, then there is good reason for it. You're the Mom and she is only ten years old. =)
Laura, I'd say trust your judgement. I've found that with my kids as they grew I knew they were ready for the next step of independence when I felt it was okay. If I wasn't comfortable, I figured it was for a good reason. 10 seems young to me.
Ummm, I don't even feel comfortable letting my 28 year old husband walk alone in the mall! Who knows who's out there to take advantage of people!
I have a 10 yr old & the neighbor girl is 11. After an abduction scare with her daughter when she was little, I know the neighbor mom wouldnt let her 11 yr old wander the mall. I wouldnt let my 10 yr old either, not even with another child her age (or a bit older) or even a group of kids that age. But Im paranoid.
If any of the kids aren't YOURS, you'd best ask permission of the parent in question. Also, if something ever happened, you would have it on your conscience for the rest of your life. I personally would wait until they reach 12. My opinion only.
Did I not make it clear that I am NOT the person allowing said girls these freedoms?
Post a Comment
<< Home