One of the things that frustrates me so much about having
all these babies is that no matter how much I plan ahead, and no matter how much I try to stick to our Daily Schedule and Routine - I never can get
ahead of the game. I'm always trying to catch my own ass and at the end of the day, I still have a dozen things I *meant* to do, but never got around to doing. This is why I have unpacked boxes of computer equipment and office supplies serving as bedroom decor. This is why I haven't scrapbooked in almost three years. This is why I haven't finished a book since before the baby girls were born. This is why we step on Cheerios on the kitchen floor - dammit, I meant to sweep that up; I really, really did, but I just fed both the babies and gave both the toddlers a bath and all of a sudden it was 5:30.
I really don't see a solution to it, either. I guess I *could* be more organized. As it is, though, it seems like I'm running my ass off all day long doing stuff for the kids or doing stuff around the house. And days like today - actually, more accurately: weeks like
this week make it all seem so much worse. The boy is teething. The girl is having a hard time adjusting to her new bedroom, and to the fact that she's sharing a room with her two baby sisters. Both of them are behind on their sleep. Both are whiny as freakin' hell, throwing these AMAZING fits, screaming and kicking and doing this weird running-in-place thing that cracks me up every time I see them do it, which just serves to piss them off even more. They're picking on each other and whining all day long, and my patience is running out way more quickly than usual because, I, too, am sleep-deprived.
I think that's the reason for all of it. It's not the fact that I have so many kids. It's not the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day. I could handle all of it, I think, if I could just GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP! How I long for the days where I could fall asleep at 10:45 and sleep until 7. Oh, such fond memories I have of those times. I know they'll come 'round again, in a few months, when the new babies start sleeping better at night. But for now, I sit awake at 4 a.m., feeding one of my little yappers, thinking to myself, "I haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep in a row YET THIS YEAR."
It's like our days are just on autopilot - the cooking and the cleaning and the changing of diapers (about twenty-five a day, if you're wondering) and the playing and the trips to Wal-Mart for more formula - it's all just blurry. Thank God I take tons of pictures, or I probably wouldn't even remember their childhoods.
